Perfect Universe? Imperfect Creations?

If the universe is perfect why…

  1. Are oranges so hard to peel?
  2. Can I bite my tongue?
  3. Do I stub my toes?
  4. Do I slam my fingers?
  5. Are people so stupid/such jerks?
  6. Does water take so long to get hot when I shower?
  7. Do I have nightmares?
  8. Do people chew with their mouths open?
  9. Are people such assholes while driving?
  10. Is there traffic?
  11. Are there non-crisp apples?
  12. Do I burn my popcorn so easily?
  13. Am I not musically inclined?
  14. Is country music so bad/monotonous?
  15. Do people make/enjoy country music?
  16. Do my bananas bruise so easily?
  17. Is the sun/weather too hot?
  18. Is/are the weather/elements too cold?
  19. Is rain so depressing?
  20. Are we killing the planet?

The answer to most of these questions is human ineptitude. The rest of them are minor inconveniences that I experience in the first world as a creature of comfort. We as a species are really fucking stupid. Let’s be honest. We spend more money on football stadiums than we do on cleaning up the oceans. Our home planet is screaming at us to save it, yet we stay glued to our screens. We live in a fantasy world while we destroy the real one. The earth will cleanse itself, whether through fire or water or quakes or all three. We will be gone. The earth will remain. But hey, let’s watch Game of Thrones, continue to use fossil fuels, and trash our environment, while killing off most of the world’s wildlife in the process. Because lololol let’s wake the fuck up people. It’s almost 2020. Enough is enough. Consumerism and capitalism are driving us to extinction and nobody seems to care. Here today, and gone tomorrow, bruh. Right? Everyone must think that way. Just some food for thought: https://awionline.org/content/list-endangered-species I honestly can’t wait for us to make this list. The planet would be better off. I honestly pray that aliens scoop me up and take me elsewhere. I truly do. Call me crazy…and go back to working a job you hate, to buy shit you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. Dying. Aren’t we all? Lol Later, Bruh.

Interstellar Thought

I constantly find myself thinking about the synchronicity of the universe. For our home planet, it means our consistent orbit and rotation around our closest star. It is difficult to determine earthly matters as anything but trivial. We are so infinitesimally small. The universe is so inexplicably big. Our daily routines, habits, interests, loves, hates, and relationships fall into a universal void when the true “big picture” is put into focus. Does any of it truly matter? What does it all mean?

As anyone who has taken the time to determine their place in the universe will tell you, our lives our inherently meaningless, to the degree that nothing we do will throw the universe off of its course. The upside to our tiny lives, is the simplicity. We can cause tremendous change on Earth, and the ripple effects of which will reverberate for potentially centuries to come. We have the capability to create meaning for the innately meaningless, which is our most powerful blessing.

We are here. We are alive. We are conscious. And if we are self-aware, we have the power to create the change that we wish to see in the world. It may sound generic, and it may seem cliche, but it is our duty as citizens of this planet to make it a better place before our lives come to an end. Instead of becoming another sheep in the flock, and following the lead of others, become your own shepherd and create your own following.

People are looking for leaders. They are looking for guidance. And most likely, they are looking for answers. Become the light that people are seeking, and shine as brightly as possible. Like moths to a flame, people will naturally be attracted to your spiritual luminescence.

Don’t be confused, however. The road to self-awareness and self-mastery is not easy. It is the most difficult path that a person can take. If it was easy, nobody would need help. The first step is connecting with your eternal spirit. The second step is strengthening that connection to the degree that others take notice. The third step is teaching others to find the connection with themselves. The fourth step is reaching a level of spirituality that transcends earthly limitations. The final step is nirvana, perfect bliss, heaven, etc. Is the final step possible? Very few can give up the attachments that keep us on this vibration or frequency, but those who do achieve eternal happiness. Can you?

2019 Update

Honesty. I’m going to be honest in this post. Readers from 35 countries will be allowed into my personal sphere. I’ll drop a truth bomb right off the bat. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II. This does not mean that I am “crazy.” I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes me to shift from high’s to low’s at random intervals. The majority of the time I struggle with depression, while very infrequently I will experience periods of hypo-mania. Many writers (Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Churchill, and others) all had their own struggles with bipolar. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose.

My outlook on life has changed for the better now that I have received a diagnosis. I have achieved a more stable mood and mindset. I am optimistic for the future knowing that my imbalance is treatable with medication and therapy. Now for the update on my life. During a hypo-manic episode (9+ miles a day of activity on 3-4 hours of sleep for weeks on end) I forced my wife and child out of my life. Instinct played a role (I didn’t want to hurt them in the process), but I just didn’t have the time or energy for anyone else (mania induces a highly exaggerated sense of self, planning, goals, capability etc.). I had mountains to move and rivers to drain and I couldn’t have anyone slowing me down.

That being said, I moved their stuff out and they headed to California to spend some time with her father until things cooled off. That was almost six weeks ago today. For the first three weeks, I was riding such a high that I had almost forgotten about them. I can’t begin to describe how unhealthy the entire ordeal was for all parties involved. I will let you use your imagination for how it must have felt for her and my 13 month old son at the time. Traumatic is the only word that comes to mind. My father finally had me admitted to the hospital, where I spent 72 hours coming down from what felt like an endless source of universal energy (I felt like I could run back to back marathons on zero sleep).

Upon leaving the hospital, reality finally settled in. My son. I miss my son. I miss my wife. How could I have done such a thing? The answer is hypo-mania takes no prisoners. I had forced out my loved ones, frightened my family, and was left feeling like I was at rock bottom. It was the hardest week of my life coming to terms with the path of destruction that I had left in the wake of my manic state. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, however (there always is).

I cleaned myself up, and began repairing the relationships I had damaged. I sought therapy upon my wife’s request and did everything humanly possible to become stable and restore a sense of personal identity. After several weeks, my wife and I are once again very close, and cannot wait to see each other again. I am ready to see my son, and I will never lose time with him again. This chapter does have a happy ending. I promise.

They come home tomorrow. And “home” is a new house in a secluded neighborhood in a historic area of rural, southern Maryland. We will be together as a family again for the first time in weeks. As odd as it sounds, I feel so blessed and so thankful to have gone through an episode, a diagnosis, and a recovery. I have come out as a better husband, father, and a better man overall. I am so lucky to be alive, and I am so lucky to have my family in my life. I will continue to write this year, and I apologize to my followers for my hiatus. I love you all and there is more to come. Onward and upward. -TRC