Human…All Too Human

I spent my childhood in Catholic school. Actually, I spent kindergarten through twelfth grade in Catholic school. This upbringing distorted my view of reality. It presented me with the illusion that humans were somehow outside of mother nature-that we were demigods among beasts.

It took thirty years for the laws of nature to put me in my place. Our species does not fall outside of the rules and regulations that guide our animal cousins. I am not a God among beasts. I am not a demigod among other humans. I am human…all too human.

This fall from grace was fast and coupled with an extremely hard landing. I found myself with no foundation, no basis, and no belief system. I felt so lost. I felt ill. What saved me from this existential crisis? Accepting my place in the universe as a homo sapien among my fellow sapiens and animal brethren. It was and has been the most humbling experience of my life.

It may seem silly, and it may seem stupid. “How could you not realize this sooner?” I’m not sure. We find answers exactly when we are supposed to, and I guess I just had not been ready to find out this ultimate truth. I always thought I was above the rules, above the regulations, and better than others. My egocentric view has crumbled and I am forced to plow forward without my heavenly foundations.

It has not been all bad I suppose. I have a renewed sense of respect for God/the universe and all of creation. I appreciate every day as a gift instead of a given. We are so lucky to be alive. We are so lucky to have each other. The world and life would be a tremendous bore without other lifeforms. I have developed a deeper love for my family and friends, and I cherish the time I get to spend with them. This humbling experience has forced me to become earthly, and find solace in my place in the universe. I’m going to use this tremendous gift of life to better myself and those around me as best as I can. Isn’t that the name of the game? It certainly seems like the only answer to me. Stay human, my friends.

Oh The Humanity…

We’ve come to dominate this planet. Our species numbers almost eight billion in number. 8 BILLION. I can’t wrap my mind around it. Our takeover has seen us wipe out countless species of our animal cousins, while destroying much of our planetary ecosystem. How much more can we take? How much more can we demolish? How much time do we have left?

Our economies thrive, while our ecosystems languish. We spend far more money on defense spending than we do on conservation efforts. We have made a mess of our atmosphere, our oceans, and our forests. Plastic floods our waters while chainsaws mow down our rain forests. All in the name of “progress.”

The developed world lives in the most comfortable time period in human history. Technology has allowed us to attain an unbelievable level of connectivity, freedom, and comfort. We have running water, affordable heating and air conditioning, affordable transportation, and wireless internet available conveniently. But have we truly harnessed this technology for the greater good?

Some may say so. Others may not. We have bought comfort at the expense of mother nature. Commercial farming, commercial fishing, and robotics have turned a cooperation into a conglomeration. It is a closed system in which the “family farm” is dying off as fast as cities are spreading out. The suburban sprawl is becoming more and more like the extension of city life. Will our rural and suburban areas cease to exist? How much larger can our population possibly become?

I don’t have the answers to these questions. I just know that the system is broken and drastic changes need to be made. What can we do? We can start by using as little as possible and inspiring others to do the same. We can reuse and recycle as much as possible. We can grow fruits and vegetables at home if possible. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but if the majority of people are doing it, it can have a massive impact on the status of our planet.

30 Years Old

I’m thirty years old. Half way to thirty one actually. Where did the time go? Eighteen to twenty five is a complete blur. Not really sure where I went wrong. Did I go wrong? The universe doesn’t make mistakes, so I must have experienced exactly what I was supposed to.

In thirty years I have completed high school, college, and half of a master’s degree. I attended a service academy and in doing so, spent over three years in the military. I played lacrosse at the division 1 and division 3 levels. I have coached youth, high school, junior college and college lacrosse. Looking back, most of my life has been spent in or around the game of lacrosse. I honestly don’t think I would ever trade the experiences.

I do wish that I had broadened my horizons and spent more time on my academics. But, so it goes. When you’ve delved into an arena, it is hard to see over the walls. I wish I had attended a small, liberal arts college from the beginning. I wish I had developed my writing ability and become a writer or a journalist from the start. I wish.

The good news is that I hopefully have so much more time to develop my writing ability. I am currently in a period of stagnation in terms of creativity. No story lines are coming to mind. It is both frustrating and liberating. There is no pressure to produce pages. I have already completed a full manuscript. Vanity publishing only feels so satisfying. I am hoping to send it out to publishers over the course of the next few years.

Over the course of thirty years, I have most importantly become a husband and a father. In doing so, I have the responsibility of passing on my limited knowledge and experiences onto the next generation of my family. I am so blessed to have the opportunity. The pressure is immense, but it will all work out. Part of me wishes to be young again, but, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. The sky is the limit and I need to make the most of the next 30 years. Onward and upward.

End of The Tunnel

I’ve finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel. After four months in a deep depression, I am finally returning to normal. I had not been to the gym since May. I had not contacted my friends since June. I have not written a blog post since July. An entire summer flew by. I still cannot wrap my mind around it.

The good news is that my family and friends have stayed by my side and have been fully supportive of my journey. It feels as if a thick fog has lifted. Melancholy and suicidal thoughts have been replaced with normalcy and hope. I have walked down the hardest road I have ever had to traverse, and I have finally come to a clearing in the wood.

The question is where do I go from here? Currently I am a stay-at-home-dad. I am doing my best to support my wife as she builds an online business. This means doing laundry and dishes. This means watching our toddler for a few hours solo. This means providing her with the time and space that she needs to work. It has been an adjustment to say the least.

I keep reverting back to looking for jobs or re-enlisting. Those things just aren’t in the cards for me anymore. My place is at home and our future is her business. I have full faith in her capabilities and given enough time, I believe that she will become much more successful than I could be in any conventional job.

I have had to train my mind, rewire my thought process, and overhaul old patterns. It has been easier said than done. I find myself experiencing multiple ego deaths as I commit to a life as a helper and a homemaker. It is for the best, and I am getting more and more used to it as the days go by. I am excited for our future and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things work.

Youth

Youth is fleeting. In the moment, it feels as if you’ll stay young forever, then suddenly it’s over. Looking back, it’s as if you’ve lived your life on fast-forward. It sounds cliche…but it goes so fast. The unlimited energy and unlimited possibilities dwindle with age, and we are left with important decisions on where and how to spend our increasingly limited time and energy.

I suppose it’s not just youth, but all of life. Every year the seasons seem to grow shorter and shorter. Every year seems to go by more quickly. That being said, life is full of so many beautiful moments, and filled with so much joy that the shortness can be counteracted with the abundance of sensational experiences. Youth is nice, but experience has its value as well.

I don’t miss the rush of my youth, but I do miss some of the friends that I had and some of the opportunities and experiences that I still cherish. Life happens exactly as it should and we are given exactly what we need in order to grow and develop as best as we possibly can. Another chance at youth would be nice, but I wouldn’t trade the life I’ve been given for another. I would do it all over again-exactly how I had the first time.

If you are in the prime of your youth, have fun. If you are in the fall of your years, pass on your knowledge. If you are towards the winter of your life, relax and enjoy the simple things, and bask in all of the beautiful memories that you have made. Every stage of life has its value, youth just seems to be the most fun because it goes so fast.

Reasons to Remain

  1. My wife
  2. My son
  3. My family
  4. My friends
  5. Reading
  6. Writing
  7. Good coffee
  8. Good tea
  9. Sunrises
  10. Sunsets
  11. A nice breeze
  12. Soft sheets
  13. A warm bed
  14. A nice view
  15. Spotting birds
  16. Spotting wildlife
  17. Long walks
  18. Intelligent conversation
  19. Sharp wit
  20. Humility
  21. Beautiful clouds
  22. Thunderstorms
  23. Falling snow
  24. Sweatshirts
  25. Sweatpants
  26. Comfy socks
  27. Hot showers
  28. Cold showers
  29. Back rubs
  30. A fresh shave
  31. Relaxing
  32. Good music
  33. Good food
  34. Hugs and kisses
  35. A good sense of humor
  36. And many many more….

The Dream

The simple life is what I seek. I want a small, secluded beach cottage situated on the ocean. Friends and family would be welcome, but I fantasize about living a hermit’s life, and romanticize about being completely off of the grid. I truly want nothing more than a library full of books, paper and pens, coffee, and a writing room in the upper floor that faces the ocean. That’s it. That’s my dream.

I don’t want a fancy mansion. I don’t want flashy cars. I don’t want fame and fortune. I want a quiet, peaceful life with my family. I would die happy knowing that I have endeavored into great literature, written to the best of my ability, and provided my family with a safe, comfortable existence. That’s all I want, and I can already see it coming into fruition.

Who Are You?

The complex answer is…you are an infinite spirit energy having a human experience in order that you may achieve a higher understanding of universal consciousness. The simple answer is…whoever you would like to be. Most people whose confidence has been crushed, or who have been ingrained with limiting beliefs will scoff at the notion. But, stay with me for a second. Are you who you were ten years ago? Or ten months ago? Or even ten days ago? No matter how firmly you may believe you are the same, the correct answer is no.

It is impossible for experiences to not fundamentally change who you are on a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual level. The neuroplasticity of your brain, and the receptiveness of your spirit turn all experiences into transformative occurrences. Thousands of these transformations happen every day, and change your physical makeup on a subatomic level. You go to bed every night as a different person than you were when you crawled out of bed that same morning. It is a fundamental truth of existence. You create your reality as you go…scary I know.

I will not go into the rates of change that our cells undergo, or the lack of our working memory’s efficiency (although they would only provide further evidence to support my claims). This is not a scientific journal. Scientific evidence aside, think about the fluctuations of your mood, mindset, and outlook over the course of an hour, let alone a broader time-frame. Constantly changing. You, myself, and indeed all of us are in a constant flux.

It’s not just humans that are constantly changing. All animals, all plants, all life on earth are constantly transforming. Our narrow spectrum of receptivity to the vast array of energy fields and vibrations in the universe limit our ability to fully grasp the complexity and intricacies that are constantly fluctuating around us. We have built advanced machinery that allows us to see a slightly broader scope and scale of the world around us, but for the most part, we are traversing through our universal experience with rose colored lenses.

We sense just enough concrete evidence to enable us to navigate our experience with clarity and confidence that we are truly alive. Our scope of reality separates itself and ourselves from dreams, fantasy, and imagination. We can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell our external surroundings. But, just remember that our brains are essentially an antenna. The vibration that we send out, the universe returns to us as our fundamental experience of reality.

IF you can manage to change your vibrational frequency, your surroundings will mimic the change. Meditate, heal, read, write, and do things that invigorate your highest spiritual self. Become the best possible version of yourself, and watch as you create your greatest possible version of reality. Many have done just that, and so can you. Anything is possible. “I think, therefore I am.” I love you all. Onward and upward. -TRC

Why are We Here?

Allow me to start by acknowledging that the Universe/God etc. cannot be captured with words. We do not know, and I think we are not meant to know. Life would be an utter bore if we knew all of the answers. The mystery is one of the reasons for our eternal striving for existence. That being said, I am only capable of putting my ideas on the table. All readers are able to pick and choose as they please, or to leave them there entirely.

I think we are here on this vibrational plane in order to learn. We are here to learn how to love. Love is the most powerful emotion that we can experience, and we are here to spread it to all other entities on this plane of existence. Spiritual leaders have preached the same message throughout history. We are all here because we are seeking to break out of the cycle of existence in the human sphere, and to achieve a higher consciousness which will allow us to exist on a higher rung of an infinite ladder of cosmic experiences.

Whether or not you believe in past lives is up to you, but I believe that our souls/spirits are eternal, and we may have experienced our lives or similar lives many times before. Some of you/us may believe that we are here for the first and only time, and that may be true as well, depending on your spiritual path. Others may believe that we are doomed/blessed to repeat this life over and over in a damned/beautiful eternal recurrence. No theories are full-proof, but I can promise that living a life full of love is the easiest and best way to create a better life for yourself and for all others that you come into contact with.

Love yourself. Radiate peace, love, and harmony. Love your enemies. Show kindness to those who are in need. Be gentle with those who are angry. Show compassion and empathy to those who are suffering. Sacrifice yourself for the greater good and you will truly experience “heaven” in this life or the next. Live a life of love, find peace in this chaotic existence, teach others to do the same, and you may begin to scratch the surface of why we are here. I know I am constantly struggling to do so myself. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Fight the good fight and better yourself every day. If life is indeed meaningless, you’ll at least be creating a better experience for yourself and everyone involved. I love all of you. Onward and upward. -TRC

Perfect Universe? Imperfect Creations?

If the universe is perfect why…

  1. Are oranges so hard to peel?
  2. Can I bite my tongue?
  3. Do I stub my toes?
  4. Do I slam my fingers?
  5. Are people so stupid/such jerks?
  6. Does water take so long to get hot when I shower?
  7. Do I have nightmares?
  8. Do people chew with their mouths open?
  9. Are people such assholes while driving?
  10. Is there traffic?
  11. Are there non-crisp apples?
  12. Do I burn my popcorn so easily?
  13. Am I not musically inclined?
  14. Is country music so bad/monotonous?
  15. Do people make/enjoy country music?
  16. Do my bananas bruise so easily?
  17. Is the sun/weather too hot?
  18. Is/are the weather/elements too cold?
  19. Is rain so depressing?
  20. Are we killing the planet?

The answer to most of these questions is human ineptitude. The rest of them are minor inconveniences that I experience in the first world as a creature of comfort. We as a species are really fucking stupid. Let’s be honest. We spend more money on football stadiums than we do on cleaning up the oceans. Our home planet is screaming at us to save it, yet we stay glued to our screens. We live in a fantasy world while we destroy the real one. The earth will cleanse itself, whether through fire or water or quakes or all three. We will be gone. The earth will remain. But hey, let’s watch Game of Thrones, continue to use fossil fuels, and trash our environment, while killing off most of the world’s wildlife in the process. Because lololol let’s wake the fuck up people. It’s almost 2020. Enough is enough. Consumerism and capitalism are driving us to extinction and nobody seems to care. Here today, and gone tomorrow, bruh. Right? Everyone must think that way. Just some food for thought: https://awionline.org/content/list-endangered-species I honestly can’t wait for us to make this list. The planet would be better off. I honestly pray that aliens scoop me up and take me elsewhere. I truly do. Call me crazy…and go back to working a job you hate, to buy shit you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. Dying. Aren’t we all? Lol Later, Bruh.